By: M. Munroe
Most of the people who say they love you may just be tolerating you.
The rest of them probably have ulterior motives. As humans, we do things for
others so that we can get things done for us. If it is one thing that the world
needs now is a big dose of genuine love.
As numerous scholars have researched and discussed, the Greeks have
identified four kinds of love. Those four kinds of love are an attempt to
describe the different motives for love. “Eros” is the Greek word for sexual or
carnal love. It is simply pleasure of the flesh. “Philio” is friendship love.
The third word used for love is “storge”, which is family love. The Greeks also
distinguished another kind of love, which they called “agape.” Agape is the
type of love that the Greeks tried to define as divine love. Jesus also used
this word to describe the love of God for humanity. This love is also possible
between two people.
Scripture shows that God made love a law. Why? He made it a law because
He could not trust us to do it ourselves. He stated to His disciples, “This is
My commandment that you love one another…” (Jn. 15:12). A command is not debatable
because it is your duty. Duty is absent of feelings. In other words, we think
that love has to do with feelings. However, the love that Jesus commands us to
have is one that is above feelings. In other words, in the Kingdom of God, the
law is that you love them first and then learn to like them. Valentine’s Day is
a day when you give flowers or candy to someone that you like. Unfortunately,
the intent of this type of love falls short of the motive behind the kind of
love that God says to give.
Agape refers to unconditional love. Therefore, if anyone attaches
conditions or reasons to why he or she loves you, then agape, unconditional
love, has ceased. If someone uses the words “if,” “when,” or “because” when
they say that they love you, this is not an unconditional perspective. Wherever
there is a reason, there is a condition. Wherever there is a condition, there
is expectation. I estimate that 99% of all the problems in relationships have
to do with expectation.
For instance, consider this condition: “As a husband, I expect you to
cook for me.” What happens when you both work from nine to five, and she is
exhausted when you get home? Expectation guarantees disappointment.
Disappointment leads to division, which leads to divorce. Divorce can take
place in any type of relationship and not just marriage.
Therefore, we need agape love, which is love without reason or
condition. I challenge you from this Valentine’s Day forward to examine your
motive for loving others and destroys these conditions because reason runs the
risk of destroying your relationships.
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