Tuesday, February 14, 2012
THE MOTIVE OF TRUE LOVE
By: M. Munroe
Most of the people who say they love you may just be tolerating you. The rest of them probably have ulterior motives. As humans, we do things for others so that we can get things done for us. If it is one thing that the world needs now is a big dose of genuine love.
As numerous scholars have researched and discussed, the Greeks have identified four kinds of love. Those four kinds of love are an attempt to describe the different motives for love. “Eros” is the Greek word for sexual or carnal love. It is simply pleasure of the flesh. “Philio” is friendship love. The third word used for love is “storge”, which is family love. The Greeks also distinguished another kind of love, which they called “agape.” Agape is the type of love that the Greeks tried to define as divine love. Jesus also used this word to describe the love of God for humanity. This love is also possible between two people.
Scripture shows that God made love a law. Why? He made it a law because He could not trust us to do it ourselves. He stated to His disciples, “This is My commandment that you love one another…” (Jn. 15:12). A command is not debatable because it is your duty. Duty is absent of feelings. In other words, we think that love has to do with feelings. However, the love that Jesus commands us to have is one that is above feelings. In other words, in the Kingdom of God, the law is that you love them first and then learn to like them. Valentine’s Day is a day when you give flowers or candy to someone that you like. Unfortunately, the intent of this type of love falls short of the motive behind the kind of love that God says to give.
Agape refers to unconditional love. Therefore, if anyone attaches conditions or reasons to why he or she loves you, then agape, unconditional love, has ceased. If someone uses the words “if,” “when,” or “because” when they say that they love you, this is not an unconditional perspective. Wherever there is a reason, there is a condition. Wherever there is a condition, there is expectation. I estimate that 99% of all the problems in relationships have to do with expectation.
For instance, consider this condition: “As a husband, I expect you to cook for me.” What happens when you both work from nine to five, and she is exhausted when you get home? Expectation guarantees disappointment. Disappointment leads to division, which leads to divorce. Divorce can take place in any type of relationship and not just marriage.
Therefore, we need agape love, which is love without reason or condition. I challenge you from this Valentine’s Day forward to examine your motive for loving others and destroys these conditions because reason runs the risk of destroying your relationships.